Sunday, January 29, 2006

Where to place the blame...

The advertisements say, “King Kong is what you go to the movies for…” Really? I would have to say that my King Kong experience brought about the utter demise of my movie attendance career.

It was the perfect night for a movie… The last night of the long holiday run, a quiet rainy night, the city was calm and peaceful. I propose to Catnip that we should perhaps go see Peter Jackson’s three-hour epic mega smash “King Kong” and the wheels were set in motion. We venture out into the streets wet from mild precipitation and joke how the streets are so empty because everyone’s at the movies. Knowing in our hearts that can’t be true, more likely everyone is at home sleeping off the long weekend, preparing for work… We arrive at the theater and there is a huge crowd standing outside and again we hope and believe that the crowd is only seeking a temporary shelter from the rain. This was not the case… The theater was packed! We decide to buy tickets for the showing an hour later, certainly we would not be able to find a seat so close to show time, and go for a beer at our favorite bar up the block. Thus began possibly the worst night of my theater going experience.

So who’s to blame for this?

The theater? After postponing our 3 hour tour (and dinner) by another hour we arrive at our theater, #25 approximately 12 miles up into the stratosphere, assured that we will be able to get great seats as a reward for our patience and promptness. Score! Our reward was the last two seats that remained together in an already packed house. 3rd row, far left were we would be able to view our movie with the same comfort as a tennis game attendee. Sitting between two couples who were discussing every topic possible throughout the film and in front of a family who’s (4yr old?) was unrelentingly shouting with glee “Pa Pa… King Kong, Pa Pa… King Kong!!!!” we were able to REALLY enjoy Peter Jackson’s subtleties and quiet moments of tension. There was not one moment complete silence during this showing. Is it the theaters responsibility to ensure that parents keep their children quite during a film? I personally think so… As well I believe that children that small shouldn’t be taken to see a PG-13 film in the first place. Did I mention the ticket price of $10.50???

Peter Jackson?

C’mon dude… $300 MILLION!!! I can’t even imagine that much money. That’s like a really nice neighborhood outside of Miami. I mean a WHOLE neighborhood! You spend this much money and this is what we get? I could’ve made a better movie for $10.50 on Macromedia Flash! You know it’s one thing to have elves, trolls and orcs performing fantastical, unbelievable and superhuman feats but you are really insulting your viewers intelligence if we are expected to believe this crap. Case and point… (This won’t ruin anything for anyone who still might want to see this movie, as there’s about 2 1/2 more hours of bulldonk after this point) When the Giant Ape meets the beautiful Ann Darrow on the sacrificial altar she is bound so tightly by ropes that she cannot escape. Kong grabs her and rips her off of this altar, shakes her around while screaming like an ape. Here’s the problem – If this movie had any sense of reality it would’ve ended here as Kong would’ve ripped both her hands off at the wrist, snapped her neck and quite literally would’ve scared the crap out of her. Two and a half more hours and ALL downhill from there.


Perhaps it’s the fact that we still go out and pay for this crap. We can only blame our lowered standards and ourselves for what we have to view. If we were to say that we weren’t going to stand for this crap any more maybe then Hollywood would try to figure out what’s going wrong. Unfortunately I think it’s going to become like the much maligned music industry where people would rather download one crappy song then buy the whole album. I don’t blame the musicians or the actors taking the easy way out. It’s a job, and this mediocrity is where society apparently finds satisfaction. Not for me… I’ll watch foreign films in the comfort of my own home and listen to music pre 2000.

One of these sits about six feet in front of me with full digital surround sound… Why should I ever want to go back to the theater?


Anonymous Catnip said...

I second that opinion. The experience was all that and worse. The self-centered gall that people have to bring an infant and a non-stop talking toddler to a PG-13 movie that doesn't end until 11:00PM is beyond me. And the movie theater owners - who do NOTHING about disruptive people in the audience - are worried that releasing a movie on DVD and in the theaters the same day will hurt their business....They better be.

12:45 AM  
Blogger Bug said...

Blame Canada!

8:40 PM  
Blogger Bug said...

It's just another option... You want to blame someone, right?

10:02 PM  
Blogger Altered Egoist said...

I believe that most of the guilty parties were named in the article. I honestly think Canada is safe... This time. Actually i am more to blame then they are, I went to this movie!

10:52 PM  
Blogger Bug said...

Don't be so hard on yourself, it got good reviews after all.

12:48 AM  
Anonymous Jestaidiot said...

I enjoyed King Kong very much. I went on a Monday night and with only 10-15 other people in the audience, had my choice of seating. The chairs were comfy, the popcorn was hot and the floor wasn't sticky. I thought the CGI effects were outstanding. The inhabitants of the island were creepy. The blonde was hot! It was well worth the $7.50 I paid. Oh yeah, Jack Black was absolutely horrible. One of the all time worst performances ever.

5:16 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home