Monday, October 16, 2006


Man, who thinks up these things? Who is responsible for these most disturbing, twisted, vile, psychotic imagery and story lines that corrupt my peaceful sleep?

I’ll tell you who… Guiness and chili! A pairing so rancid and putrid causing seismic activity and noxious vapors only to be rivaled by Puck’s fancy compost dining. As the bruised purple and yellow clouds started to envelope the bed I knew I had to take my “ass” elsewhere lest Nipsy would surely be asphyxiated by dawn. Even that was of little help as this cloud of death fumes followed me from room to room, long after they where emitted, much like the beloved Pig Pen is followed by his dust cloud. I fear that I was not so beloved. I saw plants instantaneously wilt in my passing. The cats were frantically running for cover staying low to the ground. Nipsy had no such luxuries as she slumbered nose level next to ground zero. I could only thank all that is good when I woke to see her smiling face this morning and realized that she had survived the stenchacost. Thank-ee sai!

My deepest apologies to Nipsy for all of her sufferings. However… I have no such apologies for certain insects and 1/2 Mexicans whose general direction I purposely fart in!


Blogger Bug said...

It's truly amazing, but you do stink, even from half a continent away.

9:19 PM  
Blogger Riley said...

and how is this different from the rest of the time???

7:04 PM  

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